Anger Management Classes
Anger Management
Do you feel angry?
Anger is sometimes portrayed as the bad cop of emotions. But anger is an understandable emotion in many situations (e.g., falsely accused of bad behaviour), provided aggression and violence do not result. Anger can also bring practical benefits, such as mobilising people to defend themselves (1).
Avoiding anger
Framed this way, anger is less likely to be labelled a ‘bad’ feeling. In fact, you can argue that good and bad emotions are a fallacy. The experience of some emotions can feel pretty horrible (e.g., fear) with an understandable drive towards avoidance. But feelings contain essential information to which we should attend. Avoidance impairs our ability to learn and cope effectively with emotions such as anger.
Avoidance of anger may be more likely when displays of this emotion are deemed unacceptable to yourself, or others (e.g., yelling at a child for accidentally spilling their breakfast on the couch). Anger is a ‘social’ emotion. It takes place in our relationships with others (2). When you believe you have experienced anger inappropriately, you may experience guilt or remorse towards those on the receiving end.
This response can drive a tendency to avoid anger, rather than attempting to learn from this emotion.
Angry people
How we evaluate our emotional responses to situations is important because it can trigger knock-on evaluations that influence our wellbeing.
You can respond to the signal of anger in helpful and unhelpful ways. If you respond to anger by thinking ‘I’m a terrible person’, you are likely to experience additional negative emotions (e.g., guilt, shame, embarrassment), and potentially start to view yourself more unfavourably. In addition to attempts to avoid unpleasant feelings, this is another response to negative emotions which can lead to problems.
Instead of negatively evaluating yourself, you can take another direction by considering why you felt angry in the first place. In other words “Anger can be valuable if we use it…” to realise we have a need that isn’t being met…” (3).
There is a growing awareness that avoidance of our feelings and mental experiences can create psychological distress. Tapping into our emotional experiences more directly, and using them as a source of information, can improve coping with uncomfortable emotions such as anger. Instead of trying to avoid these emotional states, we can try to stick with the discomfort to learn more and be better off in the long-run.
Of course, controlling anger requires a range of skills and strategies (e.g., physical activity). You should aim to have a large toolkit of responses. Being well-equipped will help ensure consistent success over the long-term.
Anger management therapy
So, the take-home message is that you have at least three response options for anger:
Try to ignore anger
Beat yourself up about getting angry
Use anger as a signal (to pay attention) and use it as a learning opportunity.
Regardless of what option you take, you are always 100% responsible for your anger. It is never up to other people to manage this emotion for you. If interested in the last option, here are some questions you could ask to help facilitate your understanding of anger:
In what way do I feel like I am being mistreated/wronged?
What are the personal consequences of this treatment (e.g., what do I miss out on)?
Why did I feel anger and not another emotion?
What does my anger tell me about how I see this situation?
Is my anger out of proportion to the situation? If so, why might that be?
What other emotions am I experiencing? What does this say about how I saw the situation?
How do I think the other person is feeling? Does this help me understand why I became angry?
Anger management courses
You have several options for courses in anger management. You can attend in-person training or complete online anger management classes. This is an increasingly popular form of online therapy. A certificate of completion is often provided to document your attendance.
An online course may suit your circumstances, but be sure to check the training is high quality. You can do this by asking about trainer credentials, ensuring the treatment is well-supported by research, and by asking for participant feedback (e.g., quotes, testimonials). However, you may be instructed to attend a specific course (e..g, through a court order, court approval).
Anger issues
Anger can feel uncomfortable when this emotion is judged as wrong in some way. This interpretation can block improved understanding and management of anger. Sitting with this unpleasant feeling provides opportunities to learn something valuable for the future. Bear in mind that anger may be due to an underlying psychological condition. You may need to seek help from mental health services.
Anger management near me
I offer help online to people wanting to improve their anger management. I take an evidence-based approach. This means I used treatments that are supported by scientific evidence. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is one of these approaches.
Angry quotes
The best fighter is never angry. Lao Tzu
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain
References
(1) Barlow, D. H, et al. (2011). Unified Protocol for Transdiagnostic Treatment of Emotional Disorders:Workbook (Treatments That Work). Oxford: Oxford University Press.
(2) Henriques, G. (2013). Understanding anger-guild splits. Psychology Today. Accessed 9th August 2017 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/theory-knowledge/201305/understandi… (link is external)
(3) Rosenberg, M. (2008). Nonviolent communication, a language for life. Encinitas: Puddle Dancer Press.